We have to learn to separate who we are from what we do. Just because we act bad does not mean that we are a bad person. Just because we think that we are not something does not mean that we aren’t or that we can’t be. Our behavior and our emotions are only a part of us, not who we are. They are not who we are as a person. They do not determine our morals or values. They do not determine who we are at the core of our being. They are only a part of us. And they can be changed once you get to the bottom of why you think, feel, and act the way that you do.
When we have bad behavior or out of control emotions there is always a root to them. There is always something deeper going on that is causing us to act or feel the way that we do. You can tell a lot about a person, and/or ourselves, by observing the behavior and the words that come out of our mouths because we act and speak out how we really think and feel inside. If someone is always putting themselves down or pointing out their flaws then they probably have low self esteem. If someone gets defensive really quick they may have a root of rejection in their heart. And if someone has a quick temper there is usually some kind of pain or fear that they have that makes them react in that way. Even guilt and shame can cause a person to act out.
When we are trying to make ourselves feel good about ourselves or avoid certain emotions we spend our lives in a constant battle. It can be so freeing when we stop having to be right all the time, be the best, be better than the next person, win all the arguments, and ect. To stop worrying about somebody else and how they may or may not view us and focus on how we really feel inside is the first step to that freedom.
When we can be honest with ourselves about ourselves, and then focus on bettering ourselves for the sake of ourselves, we are on the road to being free to be the best that we can be and being happy. We have to take full personal responsibility of our emotions and actions instead of placing blame or fault on others. Our actions and emotions are our own and nobody can make us feel or do anything that we truly do not want to do or feel. We have the ability to control our emotions and our actions. Just because someone did something to you does not mean that you have to feel or act in a certain way. You can choose how you will respond emotionally and physically if you really want to. And until you decide that you are going to take responsibility for yourself then you will let others and your feelings control your actions.
If we have a distorted way of thinking then our emotions and behavior is going to be wrong. Because everything begins with a thought we have to check on our thoughts when we have negative emotions or actions. 99% of the time we will have stinking thinking going on that has fueled our stinky feelings and behavior. We can counteract the negative feelings by thinking positive. We can speak uplifting words to bring about uplifting feelings. Sometimes simply thinking of things that we are grateful or appreciative for can help us to change our emotions. Once we work on that then our actions will follow. Positive thinking produces positive emotions and positive emotions produce positive behavior.
Our emotions can be a tricky area to deal with. Because they have the potential to cause us self harm we have to know and truly believe that they do not make who we are as a person and that they do not have to control us. They can be helpful to us in certain situations so we have to acknowledge them but we can not allow them to control us. When we are able to separate our who from our do we will be able to have better relationships with others and ourselves. And it helps us to not take the things that others do so personally so that we can see a situation for what it really is. So let’s learn how to separate our who from our do so that we can have the relationship with ourselves and others that God wants us to have.