Dealing with difficult people

I know that as a Christian we are suppose to be the hands and feet of Jesus and that we are to love others and treat them kindly. I know that we are to fight evil with good. And I know that we should choose to act in loving ways in all situations, treating people how we would want to be treated. BUT DANG!!!! Do you know how hard that is sometimes. I’m sure all of us have dealt with “hard to deal with” people, and had to endure some stressful situations with others. And I am sure that many, if not all, of us have handled people and situations in the wrong way. But how many of you have handled people and situations the best way that you know how, being totally selfless, trying to do what you feel Jesus would want you to do, but end up allowing yourself to be mistreated, taking advantage of, or disrespected? And how many times are we suppose to allow someone to treat us that way? The bible says that we should forgive our fellow man 70 times 7 or something like that, but does that mean that we forgive and allow that person to continue to do it? I mean Jesus wouldn’t ever turn his back on someone, no matter what they did or how many times that they did it.

I know that we can’t allow ourselves to be treated poorly by others all the time and there is a line that we have to draw or people will continue to do to us what we allow them to do. I know that there are certain ways that we can approach situations and handle them in correct ways. But I struggle with knowing that I am suppose to handle things a certain way, and yet, out of fear of arguing or being misunderstood I just don’t deal with them at all. I let it go on until it has got me in a pit and depressed and I explode. I want to have conversations that will handle the situation but I do not want to argue or be yelled at or have any kind of tension. So because of that fear I will often choose to not say anything at all, while the feelings of being disrespected, taken advantage of, used, and not valued build up in my heart. Then after becoming stressed out and weighed down for however long I will explode and let it all out in a ungodly manner. I cause things that could have been avoided if I would have spoke up long ago. Am I the only person that does that?

There are balance and boundaries that we have to have with people and in situations. Being the hands and feet of Jesus does not mean to be walked all over and taken advantage of. We should treat others with respect and honor, just as we should be treated that way. We can tell others in a godly manner that we will not allow them to treat us that way and that we expect to be treated kindly. And there may even be some people that we will have to choose to love from a distance if they do not want to treat us fairly. I think that standing up for ourselves in that way is actually standing up for what is right. And Jesus wants us to stand up for what is right and godly.

If you are doing something that you know Jesus wants you to do and it involves difficult people make sure that you set those boundaries from the get go. If you need to have a difficult conversation with a difficult person but have a fear of how they are going to react, you have to have that conversation no matter how they may react. If a situation needs to be cleared up with a difficult person, do not let it go on until it has completely drained you and got you into a pit. We can do Godly things with and for ungodly acting people and it not suck the life out of us. We are fighting evil with good, and it is going to be a struggle, but we are not fighting alone and we will receive a reward for our struggle.

9 thoughts on “Dealing with difficult people

  1. Thank you, sis. I have been going through darkest days.It’s too much to share on here openly. You have my email if you want to talk. Thanks for your encouragement. I feel like I’m being pushed to the limit. People expect me to be available on demand, but when i need them they disappear for ages. If I ever get upset I am treated like I’m an ogre. I am basically all alone right now and I am tired. I am psychically and mentally exhausted. Thanks for your prayers . 🙂

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    1. mandie

      I understand what you are going through Jayden. I have times just like those. And when I do I have to remind myself that even if people betray me God will not. I have to remind myself that God made me to be of inspiration and encouragement to others and that he will give me strength and encouragement and comfort in return. I have had to learn to make boundaries with others and not allow myself to be overwhelmed with other and deny my own wellbeing. I have looked for your email but I am still learning how to work computers basic functions and i think that i am not looking in the tight places. I tried to send you an email before but it said that it was not a valid address

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      1. mandie

        Jayden I do not understand why it will not work but I just tried it again. It says that the page is unknown and when I go to my gmail and put it in it turns red and says void.

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  2. At some point it just sinks in that no one really cares. Especially Christians. And you just know it’s time. And nothing you can do will ever change things and you just end your life and make your bed in hell. Because God hates cowards and that’s where you go when you can’t take it anymore and you swallow sleeping pills and take a permanent dirt nap. . But when you try and try and ask for help and people push you away and you have no one, no family, no friends and God Himself turns on you, you just give up and you call it quits. Some people were never made for this world and I’m one of them. I’m done. 😦

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    1. mandie

      Jayden. This world is cruel and many people in it are the same. Sadly many “Christians” are everything but what they are suppose to be and it does put a bad name on christianity. But there are some that are true to what being a Christian means. To love their neighbor as theirselves. To have compassion towards others. To care no matter where the person came from, where they are at in life right now, what they look like, smell like. To see past the external and look into the heart of others. But unfortunately those that claim christianity and do not act as such has put a bad name on those that do their best to love others. And when it comes to dealing with people in general, believers or not, you have to look past their ignorance and hatred and not allow the enemy to work through them to attack you. God will never turn his back on us. Even though it may seem that he is millions of miles away at times, he is actually right there. Sometimes he allows us to endure things to teach us to learn on and trust in him more. Sometimes the lesson to learn is different but we can always learn something that will help us in a positive way if we keep our eyes open and don’t harden our hearts in the midst of our trials. Giving up is not what any of us should do no matter how much we may want to. If we press on and faint not we will reap a harvest of blessings at just the right time. I am sorry that you are having trials right now Jayden! But please trust and know that God has not turned his back on you brother and cry out to him as I will be praying for you as well. Blessings to you my friend!!! Chin up!!

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  3. Pete

    It is so much easier under normal circumstances. But a career & financial ordeal spanning 22 years, disability, diabetes, several strokes, homelessnes – all add up to a few Bible verses that find it increasingly difficult to be relevant.

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    1. mandie

      Life definitely has it challenges. We all have things that we must endure. And some of those things are very hard to endure and can bring emotions that are difficult to deal with. I have found that there has been scripture that has gave me encouragement through all the things that I have had to endure. They help to give a different view of things and bring hope in many cases. I often have to remind myself that if Jesus can endure all that he did then I can endure my challenges.

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      1. Pete

        I think that loss of mobility, career, home, cars, children, income, all assetss, then in a country where white men can’t apply for jobs, 22 years of extreme hardsjip, twelve strokes, several heart attacks and ludicrous brethren in churc h brings one to the point where you don’t take crap from anyone. I was a competent professional, today a cast-out in society. Nobody wants me or my wife. Read my post about busy chikldren. I had 3 strokes in this year, all cerebellar, Diabetes on top. No moral sermon is going to assist me, all I do is steer clear of trouble until it comes hunting me down

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      2. Pete

        22 Years ago, I was diplomatic. Not now, The coldness of Christianity and the ease of judgements passed really got under my skin. There just is no compassion, just people who are hell bent on changing oyjers, But 1 John 3v17 isn’t in anyone’s darn Bibles.

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