We all have certain values and beliefs that act as a compass in our lives. They are the things that give our lives meaning and a reason to keep going threw the hard times. And when those values and beliefs aren’t being met it affects every aspect of our lives.
When something is important to us and we are lacking it we feel a void in our lives. We become unhappy and dissatisfied with relationships, work, kids, or life in general. Our heart is screaming, ” I need ________” while our mind is trying to figure out what’s wrong. And a lot of the time this happens because instead of standing up for what’s important to us we choose to be quiet for whatever reason.
We can also cause this dissatisfaction by unmet expectations. We expect certain things from someone because it is something that is a value to us and when they don’t do it we get let down or hurt. Sometimes we expect things from others simply because it is what we would do. But not everyone is the same. What is important to you may not be important to me and what you would do may not be what I would do. Therefore, how can a person know what we expect or need from them unless we voice it to them. People can not read minds so if we need or expect something we have to tell the other person what it is.
When we have unmet needs or expectations building up inside of us it causes us to become bitter and resentful. Then we begin to lack peace and joy. That then causes us to act or speak to others in a way that we end up regretting and feel bad about. And that causes us to have even more bitterness and resentment build up. It is a vicious cycle that can only be broken by speaking up for ourselves.
We may not want to hurt someone’s feelings or face possible conflict or disappointment but we will definitely face them if we do not voice our wants, needs, and expectations. We cause ourselves a lot more misery by staying quiet. Sure we may still not get what we need by voicing it but at least we won’t be like a pressure cooker waiting to explode on the inside.