But I want to……

I can not tell you how many times that I have done something that I know  I should  not have done. I knew that I was going to have to face a consequence for the choice that I was about to make but yet I still made the choice. Then, of course, I would wish that I did not do what I did. I would be full of regret that then lead to shame and guilt. I would feel bad about myself and beat myself up for days, weeks, months, and in extreme cases, for years. Why do we do that? Why do we make choices that we know that we will regret? Why does our bad side seem to win over our good side so often? Why can’t we just do what we know we should do?

Well in my own experience I have found out that there are several different reasons why I would choose to do what I knew I shouldn’t do. The first thing that came to my attention was that I did it because I wanted to. I had no self control. If I wanted to do something that would make me feel good in the moment, I did it. Then I realized that my feelings were controlling my choices.  I would do things because of the good feeling that I would get while or immediately after I was doing it. Then I learned about what our good side and bad side were all about. Our good side is our spirit, our deepest purest part of our heart. And our bad side is our natural sinful nature that we were all born with, our flesh, the selfish and demanding part of our being. Once I learned that and how each side works, I realized that my sinful nature, my flesh, was dictating my choices. And then there is our enemy, the devil, who tries his best to talk us into making wrong choices because he wants to destroy us and make us miserable. He is what puts those nagging thoughts into our mind of, “do it, do it, you know you want to.” And I was allowing him to talk me into making wrong choices at times.  There are many things that contribute to our bad choice making,  but,  we can make right choices.  After I learned the above lessons and that I could make right choices, alongside of some determination, I was able to start my fight to right choice making. Something about the fact that I was allowing these other things to influence me to make wrong choices kind of made me upset and gave me the mindset that I was not going to allow anything to make me have regrets and shameful feelings towards myself any longer. I was equipped with the knowledge that I needed to be able to make better choices and I was determined to take control of myself. With every right choice that I made, the easier it got to make  right choices.

Once we start to fight against the things that are trying to influence us to do things that are not in our best interest to do the weaker they become. Once we start to stand up for ourselves we get stronger and stronger. When we choose to do what we know that we should do even though everything in us is screaming to do what we shouldn’t do, we get the feeling of empowerment and we are proud of ourselves, which helps us to keep making the right choices. And once we notice the lack of regret, shame, or guilt within us because we are doing what we know we should do, we want to keep that good feeling inside so we will be driven to make more right choices. We can choose to do what we know we should do and live a much happier life because we have the power of Jesus inside of us to help us in our time of weakness. And with that power and determination we will win each time.