Ezekiel 18: 31-32 repent and turn from your sins. Don’t let them destroy you! Put all your rebellion behind you, and find yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O people of Israel? I dont want you to die, says the sovereign Lord. Turn back and live!!

When it comes to the sin in our lives and how it effects us I think that this scripture speaks volumes. When we are doing things that we know are not good for us, or that God doesn’t want us to do, we are actually working against the Holy Spirit. And by doing so we are causing a part of us (our spirit) to die. With each wrong action, rebellion, or disobedience, we lose a little more of ourselves.

We dont notice it at first, but as time goes on we start feel different. We may feel a little off, or that there is something missing. We may start to feel an unsettling feeling or have an unpleasant self reflection. You may notice that your patience is short, that you get frustrated quickly, or that you are paying more attention to your feelings and your wants. Sin affects us in many different ways but they all are destroying the person that we were created to be and brings death to our Spirit. Why do you think that the enemy uses sin to try to destroy our calling? It’s the easiest form of attack that he can use.

I am speaking from experience and it has not been easy for me to face this truth about myself. After all, it is so much easier to try to put blame to someone or something else for our demise. But it is the truth that sets us free. And we have to admit to ourselves that we have made our own choices and decisions, rather right ones or wrong ones, and that is why we are where we are at in life right now. After the work that God had done in me and helped me to change so many things, becoming the best version of myself, I started to fall back. I fell back into old sin patterns, became disobedient to the Holy Spirit, and eventually fell back into a deep pit of despair. The light that I once had was now so dim that I no longer could sense it. I formed a hatred towards myself and no matter how hard I cried out to God all I got was silence. The feeling of destruction filled my Spirit and my hope was fading fast. The enemy was winning the battle, but God was still there, eventhough I thought differently.

I thought that God was mad at me and had turned His back on me. After all that is what I deserved for my lack of respect and honor to him. I deserved to be cast out, punished, left to my own destruction for my disobedience, my weakness, my rebellion. Or that’s how I felt about it anyways. I formed a self hatred and disgust for my actions. I was so angry at myself for coming back to the place that He had delivered me from. How could I be so dumb? How could I allow myself to get back to this place of misery once again? And what was i gonna do now, because to be sure he wasn’t going to help me again. I was right where the enemy wanted me, but I was also where God needed me to be to learn a valuable lesson. I have learned several lessons and scriptural truths through this experience that has strengthened my faith and my knowledge of God’s unfailing love and mercy that helps me keep fighting for the life that Jesus died for us to be able to have.

God never leaves us. We may separate ourselves from him through sin, but he never leaves us. He isn’t sitting on his throne looking down on us and saying, “yep, that’s what you get, im not going to help them because they deserve to be punished for their actions.” He hasn’t turned his back on us. He is actually mourning when he sees us suffering from our own choices and decisions. He wants good for us more than anything. He doesn’t want us to die. He wants us to turn back and live!!! It is a choice that we get to make. We can choose to live by our new heart and our new Spirit vs our old human ones. And that is the beginning of our journey to becoming all that we were created to be. We may have to come back to the starting line many many times throughout our lifetime, but the good news is we can start over when we get off track.

I am here today to tell you that no matter how far off track you have gotten, no matter the amount of sin, no matter how far away you may feel from God, you can begin again. You can decide to forgive yourself just as God has forgiven you and start fresh. You can decide to turn back to your new heart and new Spirit and begin to live again. God wants you to live!! He wants you to be full of joy and peace. He wants you to be the best version of yourself. And he wants to help you get there. You have the power of God within your new Spirit to withstand the sinful desires that lurk within. You deserve to be your best even if you are currently at your worst. No you are not perfect, neither am I, and yep we are going to mess up, but as God’s child we deserve to be and have all that he has for us. So let’s decide today to choose what’s best for us, living by our new heart and Spirit, then sin and the enemy can’t win!!