When I first got serious with God and realized that Jesus was what I was missing from having a great life I was amazed at the difference in my life. It didn’t have anything to do with the outer things but the difference on the inside of me. I was happy, filled with love and compassion, had a positive outlook, and I felt complete for the first time in my life. I looked forward to waking up in the morning facing a new day. I had a smile on my face that never seemed to fade. I felt good about myself because I felt like I was doing what I was suppose to be doing. And I prayed for that to never go away. I wanted to bring glory to God everyday of my life.
While I was doing what I knew I should do and not doing what I knew I shouldn’t do everything was great. But one day I realized that I was doing something that I knew God didn’t want me to do but yet I kept doing it. Something in me faded that day and each day after it got worse and worse. I was left feeling that I had totally disrespected God and I was no longer worthy to be His child. Then life events happened and more distance came between me and God. It seemed like I had lost all that Jesus had done for me and I was lost once again. I would read the word and become more condemned about myself. I would ask God what was wrong with me and how did I get to where I was, but was given no answer. No matter what I did I could not hear from God like I once did. I felt all alone once again with no where to turn. But I kept reading the word and praying everyday. I would seek answers in teachings and bible studies. I would even have meetings with myself, asking myself what was wrong with me. For a very long time I had no answers. And I still search for answers, but little by little I am learning.
When God touches us in a supernatural way and takes away all the darkness from within us and replaces it with His light, we have to not take it for granted and always protect the truth that He has placed within us. The world, our troubles, disappointments, and the enemy can take it away from us. They can steal the glory that God has placed in us and leave us feeling empty and alone again. And once we lose something so grand, it is a lot harder to get it back, but we can get it back.
I have had to learn the love that God has for me all over again. I have had to fight the enemies lies of God is mad at me and doesn’t except me and is disappointed in me with the truth that God is waiting for me, calling out to me to come back to Him. I have to fight the lies of I am not good enough with the truth of I am enough and God knew what He was getting into when He first called me to Himself. He knew what every last one of us would do in the future when He first called us to himself. We are no surprise to Him. I have had to learn that it is not God that is standing in the way, it is me that is standing away from God. I have learned that I have to fight for the life that Jesus died for me to have. I have to fight for all that I was given from God.
God wants His glory to be shown in our lives. He wants us to reveal to the world His character. And when we focus on that we will receive the blessings that come along with it. There are blessing that happen because we choose to be and do what we were created to be and do. We can not want the blessings first. We have to want to be a good example for God, first, and receive the blessings second. If we live for the glory of God’s name then He will reward us with blessings of all kinds. When life is really hard and we choose to keep a smile on our face and joy in our heart we will have blessings for it. God is for us. He wants us to have good lives because it reflects on His glory. And if we get off track, for whatever reason, all we have to do is come back to Him and fight for the life that comes along with living for His glory.